To-day was my birth-day par- ty It was so mo-ving I cr-i-ed I had a su-per happy good time Until most of my best friends died (Oh God!) So I ran into the bedroom Where there were still some folks alive We had pajama jammy pillow fight But tragically no one of them survived Hey there Ninja Brian! We're awesome together You know that I'm not lyin' We're best friends forever! But if you wouldn't mind there's One thing I'd like to request It'd sure be great if you could please stop Murdering all of my other friends That's a dick move, bro. Dick move. This morning at the dog park I met a cool new bunch of guys Now we're hanging out together And everything GODDAMMIT NINJA BRIAN A few deaths I could look past At three hundred I was concerned But 50,000 murders later I'm starting to think you'll never learn Hey there Ninja Brian! Just always remember Through the good times and the homicides We're best friends forever! I think that I can solve the problem Meet your new friend Ninja Jim I know you guys'll get along great Except for the fact you just murdered him Really, Ninja Brian? During the chorus? I can't stay mad at you! Our jams will reign supreme As long as you don't stab me We'll be a legendary team Ninja Brian, what are you doing? What is that? Is that a knife? Oh, it's a knife. I can tell by the way it's stabbing me. Good talk, buddy.