[Originally by The Dickies]

Dear Sirs,
To whom is may concern
There's facts I'd like to learn
So many things I wanna know
Especially trivial info paraphernalia
Badges and regalia please send me everything

Cause I
Am interested in you
And everything you do
I find myself at all your shows
Could you tell me were you buy your clothes
Could you sign my little sisters face
Put your signature any place and please send me a bio

Cause we've got fan mail
We really really read it
Fan Mail
We really really read it

I sent you my letter now I want a reply
You don't know any better than you won't take your time
With my Fan Mail

So I would like to know just if and when
You'll be in town again
So that I could meet with you
And brag at my friends at school
Have you been all around the world
Have you seen every kinda of girl
Or are you from the other side

Cause you
You can't believe everything that you read
With the hypocrisy and the greed
The papers all the things that they say
They don't tell me anything anyway
That's why I've gotta get it straight from you
Without an obligation

My Fan Mail (oohs and ahhs)

What's this I find to my surprise
Those fans that I idolized
No longer seem to exist
Now tell me what can be the cause of this
Perhaps it could be their egos
I tell you heaven only knows
I didn't even get a newsletter

Fan Mail send it out to me
Fan Mail Special delivery