Punctured bicycle 

On a hillside desolate 

Will nature make a man of me yet ? 



When in this charming car 

This charming man 



Why pamper life's complexity 

When the leather runs smooth 

On the passenger seat ? 



I would go out tonight 

But I haven't got a stitch to wear 

This man said "it's gruesome 

That someone so handsome should care"

 

Ah ! A jumped-up pantry boy 

Who never knew his place 

He said "return the ring"

 He knows so much about these things 

He knows so much about these things 



I would go out tonight 

But I haven't got a stitch to wear 

This man said "it's gruesome 

That someone so handsome should care"

 La, la-la, la-la, la-la, this charming man ... 

Oh, la-la, la-la, la-la, this charming man ... 



Ah ! A jumped-up pantry boy 

Who never knew his place 

He said "return the ring"

 He knows so much about these things 

He knows so much about these things 

He knows so much about these things 



New York version adds :

 

I would go out tonight 

But I haven't got a stitch to wear 



I would go out tonight 

But I haven't got a stitch to wear 

Oh, la-la, la-la, la-la, this charming man ... 

Oh, la-la, la-la, la-la, this charming man ... 



Ah ! A jumped-up pantry boy 

Who never knew his place 

He said "return the ring"

 He knows so much about these things 

He knows so much about these things 

He knows so much about these things