I hate to do this

But you're a pain in the neck

I thought you knew this

You're handing me a canceled check



You're so helpless

Your girlfriends think you're a saint

I'll give you a quarter

I'll keep my judgements to myself



And I get caught up in the moonlight

Reaching out for a rotten egg

I don't want to beg

It's crystal clear your time is nearly gone



Count your blessings

And do the things that you should

Oh the has-beens

Have never had it so good



Stormy weather 

The kids are making a racket 

In the wilderness 

The wild lives are so mild 



And I get caught up in the moonlight 

Reaching out for a rotten egg 

I don't want to beg 

It's crystal clear your time is nearly gone 



And I get caught up in the moonlight 

Reaching out for a rotten egg 

I don't want to beg 

It's crystal clear your time is nearly gone