Ladies and gentlemen 

Welcome to the disclaimer 

That's right, the disclaimer 



This American apple pie institution 

Known as parental discretion 

Will cleanse any sense of innuendo or sarcasm 

From the lyrics that might actually make you think 

And will also insult your intelligence at the same time 



So protect your family 

This album contains explicit depictions 

Of things which are real 

These real things are commonly known as life 

So, if it sounds sarcastic, don't take it seriously 

If it sounds dangerous 

Do not try this at home or at all 

And if it offends you, just don't listen to it