I saw a little kid

As he walked around

He picked a candy bar up

Off the ground



He chowed about a half

Then his face turned blue

Turned out that candy bar was doggy-doo

Don't pick it up I say



Unless you can throw it away

Don't pick it up I say

You're gonna be bummed that you went that way



You're out there makin' bacon

No scrutiny

You mess around too much

And you got VD



You know you never think

And you're sore today

You're gonna take it back to California

Don't pick it up I say



Unless you can throw it away

Don't pick it up I say

You're gonna be bummed that you went that way



My friend was kinda hurtin'

For a girl to try

He saw one that looked like Pat

On Saturday Night Live



It had a pair of thingies

But a mustache too

Not clearly male nor female

So now what to do



Don't pick it up I say

Unless you can throw it away

Don't pick it up I say

You're gonna be bummed that you went that way