dear dar(lin') 

your mom (my friend) 

left a message on my machine 

she was frantic

saying you were talking crazy 

that you wanted to do away with yourself

i guess she thought i'd be a perfect resort 

because we've had this inexplicable connection since our youth 

and yes they're in shock they are panicked 

you and your chronic them and their drama

you this embarrassment us in the middle of this delusion



if we were our bodies

if we were our futures

if we were our defenses i'd be joining you

if we were our culture

if we were our leaders

if we were our denials i'd be joining you



i remember vividly a day years ago 

we were camping you knew more than you thought you should know

you said "i don't ever want to be brainwashed" 

and you were mindboggling you were intense

you were uncomfortable in your own skin 

you were thirsty but mostly you were beautiful



if we were our nametags

if we were our rejections

if we were our outcomes i'd be joining you

if we were our indignities 

if we were our successes

if we were our emotions i'd be joining you



you and i we're like 4 year olds 

we want to know why and how come about everything

we want to reveal ourselves at will and speak our minds 

and never talk small and be intuitive

and question mightily and find god my tortured beacon

we need to find like-minded companions



if we were their condemnations

if we were their projections

if we were our paranoias i'd be joining you

if we were our incomes

if we were our obsessions

if we were our afflictions i'd be joining you



we need reflection we need a really good memory 

feel free to call me a little more often