I remember when we walked as one 

And all the truths were known 

And we were scrappers in the schoolyard fights 

Talked tough on the telephone 

But there was always one big guy who feared nothing and no one 

His name was gary and he looked so mean 

He wasn't a lot of fun 

When he walked by, you got the fuck out of the way 

Now gary was the schoolyard bully 

Didn't have a lot of friends 

He had kids do his homework for him 

Stupid til the end 

On graduation day he stood the tallest, and he got his degree 

He couldn't add two plus two 

Let loose on society 

When he walked by, you got the fuck out of the way 

Gary was 

Was the top cat in his day 

Everybody said that he'd get his someday 

And I swear to this day that I still see his face 

When I have a bad dream at night he's the monster to my right 

Now gruesome gary met his match at a young and tender age 

He got a whipping at the mall one night, and the police took him away 

The town cheered and the geeks all jeered, but i'll just make a bet 

Gary will live on in infamy -- he was the meanest guy you ever met!