Open the curtains

Singing birds tell me "tear the buildings down"

You felt blessed to receive their pleasant sound.

Sound of things that break make you cringe inside yourself.

Inside yourself there is a child counting stars in their time out.

In their time out of their day/in the corners of their frame

they are incased in the losing

of a grain

of themselves

pushed against the ebb and flow

Wave goodbye and watch it go.



Well, show me the honest, proper way to disarm 

predatory gaze 

sucking dry

Never satiated

You've been misused

been rewired you're

short-circuiting now.

Just remember when you'd call me to 

So fragile are bodies. So concave.

Work in self-destructive ways.



You shot from the hip and missed.

Detaching from all of this.

In physical pictures you remain,

spiral 'round yourself in figure-eight

I recoil at every new beginning.



I searched for a way out

Don't we all?

an existentialist recall:

Turn in all dichotomies and truths

that I gave. I felt wrong in many ways. 

it didn't heal. it just got harder every day

to be still

to be passing through the throes

in a daze

feeling heavy

feeling cold 

in my skin

in my hand-me-downs

wearing everything thin.

And the pills that you gave didn't do anything

I just slept for years on end.



So if I call,

should I beg?

'cause I'm desperate here:

a couple steps from the edge.

I can't seem to burn bright enough

I'm cold and I'm 

left alone... we're all alone.

Grab ahold. I know I said to not

but what the fuck do I know?

I had a chance to construct something beautiful

and I choked.