If you don't golf that's okay

You can be a tiger anyway

Lie through your teeth when things get tough

Or your balls are gonna wind up in the rough, yeah yeah



If you wanna be like Tiger Woods

Fertilizing ladies in the neighborhood

Get real rich and you will find

All the hot chicks will want to grind



If you wanna be like Tiger Woods

Grip that shaft like you know you should

Get a platinum card, it will be all good

The girls will want you just like Tiger Woods



Remember this when you're having fun

Three holes are better than a hole in one, yeah

If the word gets out don't be afraid

When a nine iron's heading for your Escalade, yeah yeah



If you wanna be like Tiger Woods

Filling all the divots in the neighborhood

Don't think about those three foot putts

Cover your tracks when you're banging them sluts



If you wanna be like Tiger Woods

Text messages are never good

Nail the girl at the driving range

Your life will change, just like Tiger Woods



Have your best friend book all your flights

Tell your wife that you're golfing nights

Get a call girl and maybe just chill

Be willing to part with a hundred mil



Bang a new porn star every day

Tell your sponsors it will be okay

Surprise them all with an invitation

To a viewing of your first double penetration, yeah



If you wanna be like Tiger Woods

Poking all the holes in the neighborhood

Tell your wife how it's gonna be



If you wanna be like Tiger Woods,

Brett Favre did it, so you know you could!

Like Steel Panther and Tiger Woods



Just like Tiger Woods! Oh yeah yeah