If you really really really really love me 

Then you really really really gotta show me 

Don't whine when I put it in your booty 

Or if I'm up all night playing Call of Duty 

Never hassle me because I'm unemployed 

If I sleep all day don't get annoyed 

Then I'll know that you really 

Really really really really really really love me 

If you really really love me 



If you really truly want to make me feel nice 

Make it so I don't ever have to ask twice 

Let me have the keys to your Mercedes 

Don't get mad when I bring home some ladies 

If I get fat and look like an egg 

Lie to me, tell me I'm in great shape 

Then I'll know that you really really really 

Really really really love me 



If you wonder what I did with the rent 

Just consider it money well spent 

I bought trunks and a new surfboard 

So just go tell your dumb landlord 

That you love me 

You really really love me 

If I have sex with your friend Melanie 

Don't act like it's some kind of felony 

It's not uncommon for this kind of infidelity 

It happens to a lot of guys like Tiger Woods and me 

Just be happy that I'm hung like a horse 

And you get to ride the pony of course 

'Cause I'm really really really really really really 

Really really fond of you too 



When you think it's really suckie girl 

All your friends will say 'you lucky girl' 

You got a man who's hot you say 

All the girls wanna be with me 

'Cause they love me 

They really really love me 

Yes they do 



If you really really really really love me 

You'd never make me hang out with your family 

Your mum sucks and your dad really hates me 

When I try to borrow money he berates me 

So Molly thinks that I'm too old for you 

'Cause you're 19 and I'm 52 

He can't see that you really really 

Really really really really love me 

You really really really really 

Really really really really love me 

If you really really love me