Went to a party

I danced all night

I drank sixteen beers

And I started up a fight 



But now I am jaded 

You're out of luck

I'm rolling down the stairs

Too drunk to fuck 



Too drunk to fuck

Too drunk to fuck

Too drunk, to fuck

I'm too drunk, too drunk, too drunk

To fuck 



I like your stories

I love your gun

Shooting out truck tires

Sounds like loads and loads of fun 



But in my room

Wish you were dead

You ball like the baby

In Eraserhead 



Too drunk to fuck

Too drunk to fuck

Too drunk, to fuck

It's all I need right now

Too drunk to fuck 



Too drunk to fuck

Too drunk to fuck

Too drunk, to fuck

I'm sick soft gooey and cold 

Too drunk to fuck 



I'm about to drop

My head's a mess

The only salvation is 

I'll never see you again 



You give me head

It makes it worse

Take out your fuckin' retainer

Put it in your purse 



I'm too drunk to fuck

You're to drunk to fuck

Too drunk to fuck

It's all I need right now Oh baby

I'm melting like an ice cream bar

Oh baby 



And now I got diarrhea

Too drunk to fuck

Yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah

Oh