I'm David Makalaster

Your ten o'clock newscaster

My lips are moving faster than

My mind can comprehend



I'm David Makalaster

Your ten o'clock newscaster

Some call me Mr. Mcaly-Mouth

But think of me as friend



If you believe the things I tell you

I've a bridge or two to sell you

And since I've cut my intake down

My liver's on the mend



'Cause I'm David Makalaster

Your ten o'clock newscaster

Good evening and here's what's new



Isn't it awfully nice

To live in a world

Where everything's exactly how it seems



We live in a world

Where all you have to do

Is sit around and dream



About the things that make ya happy

The things that make ya smile

Lay back, relax

Apathy's back in style



I'm David Makalaster

Your ten o'clock newscaster

And I firmly execute

Every word I say



I'm David Makalaster

Your ten o'clock newscaster

Only 6% of America

Thinks that I am gay



If you believe the things I tell you

I've a bridge or two to sell you

And if you see the spider

Don't spill your cords and whey



'Cause I'm David Makalaster

Your ten o'clock newscaster

Good evening and here's what's new



Isn't it awfully nice

To live in a world

Where everything's exactly how it seems



We live in a world

That strokes you in the fire

To build up steam



We live in a world

Where all you have to do

Is sit around and dream



About the things that make ya happy

The things that make ya smile

Lay back, relax

Apathy's back in style

Apathy's back in style



I'm David Makalaster

Your ten o'clock newscaster

Good evening and here's what's new