Paranoia is the insect working its way

Through my subconscious thoughts

It's the larve of self doubt

Gestating in my heart as I spiral down

And everything I touch is breaking

And it falls to earth in splinters

And I shiver as every splinter

Finds its way underneath my skin

And after 22 years I can still make my skin crawl

Every shortcoming, a pitfall

On my way to making amends

Within myself to be what I became



Sometimes it feels like the whole wide world

Has made itself my enemy

But I will stand upon my own two feet

And raise my head up



I lick my wounds

Trying to cleanse the infection

Rabid and diseased reality fades away

When I pushed myself too far

A dream of emotional perfection

Has left a wounded heart

Trying to perceive the gifts inherent inside me

It's like squeezing the trigger

It's like opening fire

On everyone who's let me down

On every beautiful lie that is only fiction

For the first time

I'm losing control and I like it

Freedom feels like the noose is gone