We are the pirates who don't do anything

We just stay at home, and lie around

And if you ask us, to do anything

We'll just tell you, we don't do anything



Well I've never been to Greenland

And I've never been to Denver

And I've never buried treasure in ST Louie or ST Paul

And I've never been to Moscow

And I've never been to Tampa

And I've never been to Boston in the fall



We are the pirates who don't do anything

We just stay at home, and lie around

And if you ask us, to do anything

We'll just tell you, we don't do anything



And I've never hoist the main sail

And I've never swabbed the poop deck

And I've never veered starboard, cause I've never sailed at all

And I've never walked the gang plank

And I've never owned a parrot.

And I've never been to Boston in the fall



We are the pirates who don't do anything

We just stay at home, and lie around

And if you ask us, to do anything

We'll just tell you, we don't do anything



I've never plucked a rooster

And I am not too good at ping-pong

And I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall

And I've never kissed a chipmunk,

And I've never gotten head lice

And I have never been to Boston in the fall



(pirate captains log 2002

Who be this band relient k

And why they be so full of contradictions)



We don't know what he did

But we're down with captain kidd

We don't wake up before lunch

But we all eat captain crunch

We don't smoke, we don't chew

We watch captain kangaroo



And I've never licked a spark-plug

And I've never sniffed a stink bug

And I've never painted Daisies on a big red rubber ball

And I've never bathed in yogurt

And I don't look good in leggings

And I've never been to Boston in the fall



We are the pirates who don't do anything

We just stay at home, and lie around

And if you ask us, to do anything

We'll just tell you, we don't do anything



We are the pirates who don't do anything

We just stay at home, and lie around

And if you ask us, to do anything

We'll just tell you, we don't do anything