May I have your attention please?

May I have your attention please?

Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?

I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?

We're gonna have a problem here...



Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before

Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door

And started whoopin' her ass worse than before

They first get divorced, throwing her over furniture (scream)

It's the return of the

"Oh wait, no way, your kidding, he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"



And Dr Dre said...

Nothing you idiots, Dr Dre's dead! He's locked in my basement! (haha)

Feminist women love Eminem

Chicka chicka chicka

"Slim Shady, I'm sick of him, look at him

Walking around grabbing his you know what, limpin' to you know who."

"Yeah, but he's so cute though!"



Yeah I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose

But no worse than what's going on in your parent's bedrooms

Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose

But can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose

"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips!

And if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss!"

And that's the message that we deliver to little kids

And expect them not to know what a women's clitoris is



Of course they gonna know what intercourse is by the time they hit 4th grade

They got the discovery channel don't they?

We ain't nothing but mammals; well some of us cannibals

Who cut other people open like cantaloupes

But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes

Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope

But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote

Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes!



I'm Slim Shady

Yes, I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady

Please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

Cuz I'm Slim Shady

Yes, I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

So won't the real Slim shady

Please stand up, please stand up, please stand up



Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records

Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too

You think I give a damn about a Grammy?

Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me



"But Slim what if you win wouldn't it be weird?"

Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here?

So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears

Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs

So I can sit next to Carson Daily and Fred Durst

And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first

Little bitch put me on blast on MTV

"Yeah he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hehe!"

I should download her audio on mp3

And show the whole world how you gave Eminem V.D. (scream)



I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me

So I have been sent here to destroy you

And there's a million of us just like me

Who cuss like me

Who just don't give a fuck like me

Who dress like me

Walk, talk and act like me

It just might be the next best thing

But not quite me



Cuz I'm Slim Shady

Yes, I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady

Please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

Cuz I'm Slim Shady

Yes, I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

So won't the real Slim shady

Please stand up, please stand up, please stand up



I'm like a head-trip to listen to

Cuz I'm only giving you things you joke about with your friends inside your living room

The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of ya'll

And I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all



I just get on the mic and spit it

And whether you like to admit it (rip)

I just shit it better than 90% of you rappers out can

Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like Valiums?

It's funny cuz at the rate I'm going, when I'm 30

I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting

Pinching nurse's asses when I'm jackin' off with Jergens and I'm jerkin'

But this whole bag of Viagra isn't working



And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin'

He could be workin' at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings

Or in the parking lot circling

Screaming, "I don't give a fuck!"

With his windows down and system up

So will the real Shady, please stand up

And put one of those fingers on each hand up

And to be proud to be outta your mind and outta control

And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?



I'm Slim Shady

Yes, I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady

Please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

Cuz I'm Slim Shady

Yes, I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

So won't the real Slim shady

Please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

Cuz I'm Slim Shady

Yes, I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady

Please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

Cuz I'm Slim Shady

Yes, I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

So won't the real Slim shady

Please stand up, please stand up, please stand up



Haha, guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us

Fuck it, let's all stand up