Ask if we can have six in

 If not we'll have to have two

 Well you're coming up at our end aren't you

 So I'll get one with you

 Oh, won't he let us have six in

 Especially not with the food

 He could have just told us no though

 He didn't have to be rude

 You see her with the green dress?

 She talked to me at the bar

 Way, How come it's already two pound fifty?

 We've only gone about a yard

 Didn't you see she were gorgeous

 She were beyond belief

 But this lad at the side drinking a Smirnoff Ice

 Came and paid for her Tropical Reef

 But I'm sitting going backwards

 And I didn't want to leave

 I said it's Shiregreen mate

 Via Hillsborough please

 Well how funny were that sketch earlier

 Up at that taxi rank

 Oh no you woulda missed it,

 I think it were when you went to the bank

 These two lads, squaring up, proper shouting

 About who was next in the queue

 The kind of thing that would seem so silly

 But not when they've both had a few

 Well calm down, temper, temper

 You shouldn't get so annoyed

 You're acting like a silly little boy

 And they wanted to be men

 And do some fighting in the street

 (They say) No Surrender!

 No chance of retreat!

 And so why are we in the taxi?

 'Cause I didn't want to leave

 I said it's Shiregreen mate

 Via Hillsborough please

 Drunken plots hatched to jump it, ask around are ya sure?

 Went for it but the red light was showing

 And the red light indicates doors are secured