Bill: I'm Bill S. Preston, Esq.!  And this is Ted "Theodore" Logan!

B&T: And we are Wyld Stallyns!

DeNomolos: I am DeNomolos.  Now . . . what is your mission?

Evil Bill: First we totally kill Bill and Ted!

Evil Ted: Yeah, then we take over their lives.

Evil Bill: He's totally a robot!

Evil Ted: So are you, dude!

Evil Bill: Whoa, we're total metalheads!

DeNomolos: Destroy that ridiculous, insipid band!

Evil B&T: Death to Bill and Ted!

Reaper: Get down with your bad self!

DeNomolos: You fools! Are we ready?

Reaper: Get down with your bad self!

DeNomolos: You fools!

Evil B&T: Yeah, totally!

Reaper: Get down with your bad self!

DeNomolos: You fools! Are we ready?

Evil Ted: I've got a full on robot chubby.



Evil B&T: How's it goin', Bill and Ted?

Bill: Ted... it's us again!

Ted: Whoa!

Bill: You're metal, dude!

Evil Bill: I know!  Check it out!  We're totally gonna kill you now!

B&T: Whoa...

Evil Bill: Ha ha ha!

Ted: Dudes, even though you're doing this, we... we...

Bill: We love you!

Evil B&T: Fags!

Bill: You dick, Bill!

Evil Bill: I know!  Let's waste 'em.

B&T: Aaaahhhhh!!!

Reaper: Get down with your bad self!

Rufus: Bogus

Evil Bill: Stellar, Evil Ted!

B&T: No way!

Reaper: Get down with your bad self!

Rufus: Bogus

Bill: Yeah!

Reaper: Get down with your bad self!

Rufus: Bogus

Evil Bill: Stellar, Evil Ted!

B&T: No way!

Evil Bill: I totally loogied on that good, dead me!



Ted: Bill, what happened?

Bill: Ted, we're dead, dude!

B&T: Whoa!

Ted: Who are you?

Bill: Ted, it's the Grim Reaper, dude!

Ted: Oh.  How's it hangin', Death?  We've got to get back to the babes!

Bill: Ted, we can't . . . we're dead, dude!

Ted: We've got to stop those evil us's!  We've gotta try!

Bill: But how?

B&T: Melvin!

Reaper: They melvined me!



Ted: Dude, I totally broke a rock!*

Bill: Excellent!*

Ted: I kinda like this* . . .  Who's that?

Bill: Ted, who do you think it is?

Ted: How's it goin', Beelzebub?  Excellent rocks!*

Bill: We totally broke some.*

Ted: Okay, can we go now?

B&T: Whoa!

Bill: Thanks dude!  You know, you've got a bad rap.

Colonel Oates: Gentlemen!  Welcome to Hell!

Ted: Dude.

Bill: What?

Ted: I think we're in our own personal hell!

Easter bunny: You stole Deacon's Easter basket!

Little Ted: No way!

Granny S. Preston, Esq: How about a kiss?

Little Bill: Bogus!

Bill: You ugly red source of all evil!

Granny S. Preston, Esq: All I want is one!  Right on the lips!

Colonel Oates: Get back here!

B&T: AHHHHHH!!!!!!  WHOAAAAA!!!!!!!

Bill: That was non-non-non-non heinous!



Evil Bill: You suck, dude!*

Bill: Do something else, dude!*

Ted: Yeah!*

Bill: Not bad, dude!

B&T: Excellent!



Reaper: Get down with your bad self!

Bill inside Sergeant: Whoa, donuts!

Ted inside Captain Logan: I totally possessed my dad!

Reaper: Get down with your bad self!

Ted inside Captain Logan: Excellent!

Bill inside Sergeant: I totally believe you, dude!

Reaper: Get down with your bad self!

Bill inside Sergeant: Whoa, donuts!

Ted inside Captain Logan: I totally possessed my dad!

Bill: You totally killed us, you evil metal dickweed!

Evil Bill: That's right, lesser developed human prototype us's!*

Bill: Let's get 'em, Ted!

Ted: Ahhhhh, yeah, no!

Colonel Oates: Get 'em Granny!

B&T: We've got to face them.

Colonel Oates: Now get going!

Various moans and groans of fears being defeated.



Bill: Kiss your fears, dudes!

Ted: Or offer 'em a honeybun or something.  And they'll get smaller and maybe they'll even go away!*

Bill: Yeah, they're not that bad, dude.  So don't get programmed by anybody but yourself!*

B&T: Let's rock!

Rufus: And most important, do not do your homework without wearing headphones!

Evil B&T: Catch you later, Bill & Ted!

Colonel Oates crying.