The Real Slim Shady

Eminem



May I have your attention please?

May I have your attention please?

Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?

I repeat will the real Slim Shady please stand up?

We're going to have a problem here



Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before

jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door

started whooping her ass worse than before

they first get divorced throwing her over furniture (scream)

It's the return of the

"Oh wait, no way, your kidding, he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"

And Dr Dre said

....Nothing you idiots Dr Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (haha)

Feminist women love Eminem

Chicka chicka chicka Slim Shady I'm sick of him

look at him, walking around grabbing his you know what

limping to you know who "yeah, but he's so cute though"

Yeah I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose

but no worse than what's going on in your parent's bedrooms

Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose,

but can't, but its cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose

my bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips

and if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss

and that's the message that we deliver to little kids

and expect them not to know what a women's clitoris is.

Of course they gonna know what intercourse is

by the time they hit 4th grade,

they got the discovery channel don't they?

We ain't nothing but mammals; well some of us cannibals

who cut other people open like cantaloupes.

But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes

then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope

But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote.

Women wave your panty holes, sing the chorus and it goes...



I'm Slim Shady

Yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady...

Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up

Because I'm Slim Shady

Yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

So won't the real Slim shady...

Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up



Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records

Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too.

You think I give a damm about a Grammy?

Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me.

"But Slim what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"

Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here?

So you can seat me here next to Britney Spears.

Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs

So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst

And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first.

Little bitch put me on blast on MTV

"yeah he's cute but I think he's married to Kim, hehe"

I should download her audio on mp3

And show the whole world how you gave Eminem V.D. (scream)

I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me

So I've been sent here to destroy you

And there's a million of us just like me

Who cuss like me

Who just don't give a fuck like me

Who dress like me

Walk, talk and act like me

It just might be the next best thing

But not quite me



I'm Slim Shady

Yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady...

Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up

Because I'm Slim Shady

Yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

So won't the real Slim shady...

Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up



I'm like a head trip to listen to

Cause I'm only giving you

things you joke about with your friends inside your living room

The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of you all

And I don't gotta be false or sugar coated at all

I just get on the mic and spit it

And whether you like to admit it (rip)

I just shit it better than 90% of you rappers out there

Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums.

Its funny cause at the rate I'm going when I'm 30

I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirty.

Pinching nurses' asses when I'm jacking off with Jergens and I'm jerking

But this whole bag of viagra isn't working

And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking

He could be working at Burger King spitting on your onion rings

Or in the parking lot circling

screaming I don't give a fuck

With his windows down and system up

So will the real Shady, please stand up

and put one of those fingers on each hand up

and to be proud to be outta your mind and outta control

and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?



Cuz I'm Slim Shady

Yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady...

Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up

Because I'm Slim Shady

Yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

So won't the real Slim shady...

Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up

I'm Slim Shady

Yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady...

Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up

Because I'm Slim Shady

Yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

So won't the real Slim shady...

Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up