I'm sorry, mama, but I've been drinking again

Me and the old man got us a head start on the weekend

And rest assured tonight I'm going to be in Kevin's basement with all my friends

Provided we can get, get our lazy asses down to Bottle King by ten



And the walk home is going to be a real s**t-show

I'll be picking up half-smoked cigarette butts all up and down Rock Road

And then throw up in the warm glow of the traffic light

But I'm going to put the devil inside me to sleep if it takes all night



So let's get f****d up

And let's pretend we're all okay

And if you've got something that you can't live with, save it for another day

Alright, save it for another day



I'm sorry, Mama, expect a call from the neighbors tonight

All of my a*****e buddies are coming over and they're feeling a little too alright

I'm sick and tired of everyone in this town being so goddamn uptight

But don't you worry, I'll do all the talking when they turn on the flashing lights



When I'm an old man I can be the quiet type

And I can go without a moment of fun for the rest of my life

I can read a good book and I can be in bed by ten

And I can get up early, go to work and come home, and start it all over again



But while we're young, boys, everybody raise your glasses high

Singing, "Here's to the good times, here's to the home team

Kiss the good times goodbye

Oh yeah, kiss the good times goodbye"



I need a timeout

I need an escape from reality

Or else I need eternal darkness and death

I need an exit strategy



Down in North Caroline

I could have been a productive member of society

But these futuristic cigarettes and all they require

Have made a f*****g junkie out of me



So give me a Guinness

Give me a Keystone Light

Give me a kegger on a Friday night

Give me anything but another year in exile



I need a whiskey, I need a whiskey, I need a whiskey right now

I need a whiskey, I need a whiskey

God know how many times I've said this before

But I really don't feel like doing this anymore



So hey, Andy, let's turn into dirty old men

Close down the bar every night at the Glen Rock Inn

Talk about our grandkids as we stroke our gray beards

Funny we're still doing car bombs after all of these years



Now I know there are bicycles waiting to ride

But I could swear I heard voices from the other side

Saying, "Wait until you see the whites of their eyes"



And now that I'm older, I look back and say

"What the fuck was it for anyway?"

Those dreams are lying in the still of the grave

What the f**k were they for anyway?



So let it be on a stretcher if I get carried away

What the f**k was it for anyway?

What the f**k was it for anyway?