God, I have to know

Is it really true?

I refuse to believe in 

The stuff they write about you



You always look real depressive

But that's what makes you cute

Say it ain't so, say it ain't so

Have you become a fruit?



Vaseline bizniz, improves your record sales

Vaseline bizniz, you know it never fails

Vaseline bizniz, will make you interesting

When you're too pissed to dance and too high to sing



My teenage dream is fucked

Although you don't know

While I plan for our marriage

You find some handsome guy to blow



Then you speak about it frankly

In an in-depth interview

And I slip into denial

'Cos I know it can't be true



Vaseline bizniz, improves your record sales

Vaseline bizniz, you it never fails

Vaseline bizniz, will make you interesting

When you're too pissed to dance and you're too stoned to sing



Yeah, I had a bad time

My heart was torn in two

Burned all my posters

Thought I'd never make it through



But I worship another boy-group now

Everybody else sucks!

I even got their autographs

Take that, you backstreet cocks!