[Jenny: OH MY GOD Stacey! Did I tell you about my date with Steve last week? Stacey: You went out with Steve?! He’s so cute!!! Jenny: I know! He took me out to this little restaurant... ] Ev-ery-bo-dy shut up, I have an e-rect-ion! It on-ly ha-ppens eight-y sev-en times a day Stop what you’re do-ing and wit-ness pe-nis per-fect-ion This is more im-port-ant than what you have to say Your sto-ry can wait, 'cause I am ve-ry er-ect Now let’s all take a mi-nute to watch my dick and re-flect Your spi-rit's at peace No need to call the po-lice Please hold your app-lause [Defense Attorney: In conclusion, your honor, in light of this new evidence, I would propose that the murderer was not my client, but...Mrs. Donovan! (Courtroom gasps!) Judge: I will have order in this court! ] Ev-ery-bo-dy shut up, I have an e-rect-ion! If Ju-stice is blind, she's go-nna miss this dis-play It’s hard as steel but still e-vad-ed me-tal de-tect-ion This is more im-port-ant than what you have to say Judge, don't give me that robe, 'cause then no-bo-dy could see This pi-llar of awe-some that's stick-ing straight out of me Who could ar-gue a case With so much dick in your face? Please hold your app-lause Do you e-ver take a mo-ment and look up at the stars And think a-bout your life and just how stu-pid you are If it makes you feel be-tter, I'm a fuck-ing rock star With an a-ma-zing pe- nis But e-nough a-bout you, let's fo-cus more on my crotch It's as tang-y as whis-ky and hits you hard-er than scotch You might not get what I'm say-ing, so just sit back and wa-a-tch Look! It's still my pe- nis! [President: Ladies and gentlemen, as the President of the United States, I must sometimes make grave decisions. I come to you today to tell you that the United States has decided to declare war on....] Shut up Mis-ter. Pre-si-dent, I have an e-rect-ion! Here's a tri-cky dick that can not be im-peached Check out my nut-sack, it could swing an e-lect-ion This is more im-por-tant than your bor-ing-ass speech For one na-tion, in-di-vis-i-ble un-der God We all stand to-ge-ther and peep my glor-i-ous rod Hey those guys look fun Oh wait are they hold-ing guns? Please hold your If Ju-stice is blind, she's go-nna miss this dis-pla-y This is more im-port-ant than what you have to say This pi-llar of awe-some that's stick-ing straight out of me-e Please ho-old your app-lause PE-NIS (Gasp) Here's a tri-cky dick that can not be im-peached This is more im-por-tant than your bor-ing-ass speech For one na-tion, in-di-vis-i-ble un-der God We all stand to-ge-ther and peep my glor-i-ous rod