I am into showbiz, I am a road manager

D'ya know a sexy chick? I got a pass for her

Touring can be boring, but not for me

You got to entertain yourself, I got a special hobby:



I fuck with the support band, I remember when

We had a shitty little group, called "Freak Kitchen"

I'm always in the mode for, let's say, any kind of dope

I asked the drummer if he wanted some, but he said "nope"



Well I couldn't believe what I just heard

The drummer of this group was this astonishing nerd

The singer and guitarist and the bass player as well

If I only had the guts I'd tell ém: go to hell!



Instead I turned around and asked a guy from the crew

To go and get a girl that we all can screw

You see, I an asshole and a real hypocrite

And my wife and kids don't know hippo-shit



I rather be a jerk, than being hip like you

I rather be a jerk, than do the shit you do

I rather be a jerk, than snort 'til I turn blue

I rather be a jerk, I rather be a jerk



An orgy a day keeps the Mrs away

I'm a road manager in a giant ashtray

And when my conscience knocks on the door

I bury myself in horse as a cure

And a prostitute, then I shoot some more



I rather be a jerk, than being hip like you

I rather be a jerk, than do the shit you do

I rather be a jerk, than snort 'til I turn blue

I rather be a jerk, I rather be a jerk