As far back as I can remember, the failure was always there. It was the only real companion that I have ever had. Not meant to live like this. Consciousness is nothing more than a vicious cycle, and I am being bled dry by my conviction. I've spent my life trying to find my confidence, and I found absolutely nothing. Life is a lost cause. Too weak to carry on. I wish I'd never met who I once was. Not meant to live like this. Pursuing the love in all that I have lost, but I have left myself neglected, deserted from the start. Longing for a chance to wander; a chance to chase my aspiration. When you're devoid of feeling, you just do as you're told. Hatred is exhausting, but it's all I'll ever know.