Dorothy was a waitress on the promenade

She worked the night shift

Dishwater blonde, tall and fine

She got a lot of tips

Well, earlier I'd been talkin' stuff

In a violent room

Fighting with lovers past

I needed someone with a quicker wit than mine

Dorothy was fast

Well, I ordered

"Yeah, let me get a fruit cocktail, I ain't 2 hungry"

Dorothy laughed

She said "Sounds like a real man 2 me"

Kinda cute, U wanna take a bath?

(do you wanna, do you wanna, bath)

I said "Cool, but I'm leaving my pants on" (she say)

"Cuz I'm kind of going with someone"

She said "Sounds like a real man 2 me"

"Mind if I turn on the radio?"

"Oh, my favorite song" she said

And it was Joni singing "Help me I think I'm falling"

(Ring)

The phone rang and she said

"Whoever's calling can't be as cute as U"

Right then I knew I was through

(Dorothy Parker was cool)

My pants where wet, they came off

But she didn't see the movie

Cuz she hadn't read the book first

Instead she pretended she was blind

An affliction brought on by a witch's curse

Dorothy made me laugh (ha ha)

I felt much better so I went back 

2 the violent room (tell us what U did)

Let me tell U what I did



I took another bubble bath with my pants on

All the fighting stopped

Next time I'll do it sooner

This is the ballad of Dorothy Parker



Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker

Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker

Well

Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker