MC Confusing back in this bitch

With a parking sandwich and chicken ticket

I got a liquid face lift from a fig with big tits

and my wrist got twisted by a Brit with fake spit

And you don't understand it 'cause you're not supposed to

Like a candy cane snake in a jealous cartoon

And I'm gonna leave soon, but first I need to

drink a Chevy Chase face and rape Robocop 2



Yo, I'm MC Historical Inaccuracy

I drop lyrical bombs like Hiroshima in '73

I write rhymes like Shakespeare when he wrote Anne Frank's diary

Which is about the Civil War of 1812 in Germany

I'm like the Spanish Inquisition when they killed Jesus

and Abe Lincoln's suicide was the theme for my thesis

Like Moses when I focus I can split the Red Sea

like he did in 1950 with the Chinese Army



I'm MC Don't Know How To Pluralize Word

I got so many rhyme and I sleep with all the girl

When there's more than one of something you're supposed to pluralize

But I never learned that throughout all the year I've been alive



Hello, I'm MC Canadian Stereotype

I'm aboot to get started so let me get off the ice

But I don't want any trouble and I am always polite

Now let's hop on my snowmobile and I will tell you what I like

But first I'll turn off curling and turn down Avril Lavigne

Et j'vais dure une phrase en francais, parce qu'ici on est bilingue

Oh boy, I fell off my igloo and I hurt my knee

Let's go to the hospital! Don't worry, here in Canada, it's free, eh?



MC Fatigue, did ya miss me?

I'll be awake for five minutes 'cause I had a coffee

I'll try to get through my verse, but I really don't know

I drank that coffee about five minutes ago

(snoring)



[MC Chorus Guy]

They hired me again to sing this motherfuckin' chorus

I haven't found a fuckin' job yet

So I gotta do this bullshit

(I can't take it, I'm done)

I don't think that I can sing another fuckin' chorus

I think I'm gonna jump off a bridge

or shoot myself like Kurt Cobain did

(I think my dad has a gun)



I'M MC Knows Too Many Facts About Bees

Fifteen miles an hour is their average speed

A queen can lay up to three-thousand eggs in a day

Just 'cause I know a lot about bees doesn't mean that I'm gay

I'm also MC In The Closet Homosexual

I hide it 'cause it's easier to be heterosexual

We can't even get married in most states in America

It's fucked up!  (Gay marriage is legal here in Canada!)



I'm MC Homophobic Fucking Asshole

Being gay is evil and it is unnatural

Jesus said to love thy neighbor, but only if they are straight

Penises go in vaginas, anything else is just insane



I'm MC Extremely Inappropriate Rhymes

I shake things up like J-Fox when I get on the mic

And I drop my enemies just like Christopher Reeves' horse

and I put them to sleep like Heath Ledger of course (Woah!)



I'm MC Extremely Politically Correct

I disagree with the previous MC's lyrical content

It's offensive, insensitive, and in very bad taste

Just like that guy who wrote that song when Michael Jackson passed away



Yo, MC Final Verse here to end the song

One was enough, we didn't need a sequel, Jon

Make a fourth "Show Me Your Genitals" or another "Normal Guy"

But for now let's end this stupid song with a suicide



[MC Chorus Guy]

This is the last time that I will ever sing a chorus

My dad's gun was in his closet

And I'm gonna end this bullshit

(I had a good run)

I'm gonna pull the trigger as soon as I finish the chorus

Sayonara and farewell

I guess I'll see you all in hell

(Four, three, two, one)